In this, you will learn the art of “offering it up”. Pray a rosary every day for your son. Our lady knows what it means to suffer for the sake of a child. Perhaps offer the Divine Mercy Chaplet for him as well. We all need God’s mercy. Praying for you!
This video is of a Catholic priest speaking honestly and sensitively about the subject. I don’t know if it will be any help, but it will show a much healthier and more robust perspective than what it seems you’ve heard so far.
Thank you all so much for the support and prayers. I have not learned how to pray the rosary yet, I will learn how though. The video brought me to tears and really was so helpful! I am so glad I joined this forum!
The video by cosbap above is pretty good. The other thing I have to add is as a good Catholic you are expected to love your son. Notice I didn’t day “You are expected to love your son but …”. No, simply “Love your son”.